With the NFL season now truly upon us and the hopes of every fanbase (except for Arizona) reaching a fever pitch, it’s time to get real. Teams will fall flat, shed all preconceived notions en route to enormous success, and otherwise subvert expectations in every possible way. While the only thing we can be certain of is that we should feel certain of nothing, how do I think the season will actually play out?
It’s easy to contextualize your thoughts about an upcoming season with generalities like “The Bengals should be good,” but if you really want to dig into your own mind and uncover your subconscious thoughts about what may come to be, how can you possibly be more thorough than predicting every single game of the entire season, and seeing what comes out the other end? That’s exactly what I’ve done here.
This is, of course, only Weeks One through Nine of the upcoming season. This is for two reasons. For one, a full list of all 272 games would wind up being an over 15000-word wall of text, and that’s simply more of my writing than I would expect anybody to be able to stomach in one sitting. Secondly, and more importantly, I work 40 hours a week, and having all 272 games predicted, proofread, and posted in time for the season to start while retaining my job that actually pays me simply wasn’t feasible.
Anyways, happy football eve to those who observe, and if my predictions upset you, just remember; you’re taking this all too seriously.
WEEK ONE
Lions @ Chiefs:
Every possible drop of hype has been squeezed out of the Lions this season, but starting their campaign in Arrowhead with a win is a big ask. CHIEFS WIN
Panthers @ Falcons:
Winning in your first NFL start while on the road against a division rival isn’t an easy thing to ask, but the Panthers didn’t draft Bryce Young first overall by accident. PANTHERS WIN
Texans @ Ravens:
For every question I have about Baltimore, I have ten about Houston. The Texans may have made a splash at the draft, but they aren’t ready to compete for anything meaningful. RAVENS WIN
Bengals @ Browns:
Deshaun Watson remains an uncertainty for Cleveland, and until I feel confident that he has returned to his form of old, I don’t think I can have the Browns beating the NFLs elite squads on Week One. BENGALS WIN
Jaguars @ Colts:
The Jags are a franchise on the up-and-up, and Indy will likely be starting the incredibly raw rookie Anthony Richardson at quarterback here. JAGUARS WIN
Buccaneers @ Vikings:
Two teams I expect to be worse than their 2022 counterparts meet, and I suppose one has to emerge victorious. VIKINGS WIN
Titans @ Saints:
If the Saints want to win a wide-open NFC South, they’ll need to beat teams at the level of the Titans with regularity. I think they get off to a good start. SAINTS WIN
49ers @ Steelers:
The Steelers are better than people think, and I expect them to prove it, but they may need to wait until after one of the very best teams in football leaves town before anybody starts to believe it. 49ERS WIN
Cardinals @ Commanders:
As a gift for having somebody other than Dan Snyder as owner, the NFL has allowed Washington to start their season against the Cards, my early favorite to be the worst team in the NFL. COMMANDERS WIN.
Packers @ Bears:
Green Bay has begun to make a habit of stumbling out of the gate, losing their season openers of the last two years by a combined score of 10-61. Maybe the Bears smell blood in the water? Is that something bears can do? BEARS WIN
Raiders @ Broncos:
A new coach really can make all the difference in a floundering franchise, and I have a feeling Sean Payton will have the Broncos ready to earn back some respect against a Raiders team they haven’t beaten since their move to Vegas. BRONCOS WIN
Dolphins @ Chargers:
You’ll find that on Twitter (pardon me, X), there still exist pockets of people that will insist that Tua is the superior quarterback to Justin Herbert. I find such an asinine take annoying, which means that when they meet head-to-head here, the Dolphins will absolutely win, much to my chagrin. It is written in the stars. DOLPHINS WIN
Eagles @ Patriots:
It’ll be hard for the Patriots offense to be much worse than it was last year, but being improved and being good enough to keep up with the Eagles immediately out of the gate are not the same thing. EAGLES WIN
Rams @ Seahawks:
The Rams roster is stuffed to bursting with rookies this season, and the Seahawks seem to have gained the upper hand in this rivalry for the first time in a while after taking both games last year. Seattle will keep their positive momentum moving forward. SEAHAWKS WIN.
Cowboys @ Giants:
The Cowboys are the superior team, and the Giants bore me, but trying to predict what might happen in the NFC East is like betting on those halftime corgi races they do at basketball games; there simply is no way of knowing anything. GIANTS WIN
Bills @ Jets:
The first Monday Night game of the season will also be America’s first look at Aaron Rodgers on the field for a team other than Green Bay. Maybe I’ll be over it by then. Probably not. JETS WIN
WEEK TWO
Vikings @ Eagles:
Philly has been a house of horrors for the Vikings, who have won twice in the city since the start of the 21st century. EAGLES WIN
Packers @ Falcons:
The Packers have been notoriously bad against the run over the last half decade or so. This could be Bijan Robinson’s first breakout game. FALCONS WIN
Raiders @ Bills:
Vegas lost a lot of games they had a real shot of winning early last season, ultimately sinking their playoff hopes as fall grew into winter. Might it happen again? I suppose it could. BILLS WIN
Ravens @ Bengals:
The last time we saw these two teams on the field, the Bengals had just vanquished Baltimore twice in seven days, the second of which being the first time the two franchises had even met in the postseason. I promise you the Ravens are itching for a rematch. RAVENS WIN
Seahawks @ Lions:
When these two met last season, we were treated to a 48-45 Seattle victory in what became the highest scoring game of the entire season. Detroit gets the upper hand this time in what very well could become a fun, budding NFC rivalry. LIONS WIN
Colts @ Texans:
Man, I hate the AFC South. CJ Stroud might make this game watchable, so I’ll let Houston take this one. TEXANS WIN
Chiefs @ Jaguars:
Now this is more like it. The Jags are looking to make the playoffs in back-to-back years for the first time since their four straight appearances in 1996-1999, and beating the Chiefs in front of a rabid Duval crown would set the table for an AFC South crown early. JAGUARS WIN
Bears @ Buccaneers:
The Bears are young and have nowhere to go but up, and the Bucs are old and getting worse. BEARS WIN
Chargers @ Titans:
The Titans allowed the most yardage through the air of any team in 2022, and the newly-paid Justin Herbert can have a field day in Nashville. CHARGERS WIN
Giants @ Cardinals:
Having the Giants, whom I have no belief in, upset the Cowboys in Week One means that I either have to have them start 2-0, or have them lose to the hapless Cardinals. Oops. GIANTS WIN
49ers @ Rams:
The 49ers are far, far better than the Rams, and even when the Rams have been better in recent years, they just can’t seem to get the better of their rivals from Santa Clara. 49ERS WIN
Jets @ Cowboys:
If the Jets don’t want to immediately shake the confidence of their snake-bitten fanbase, they’ll need to start strong in an early stretch that includes the Bills, Cowboys, and Chiefs. Maybe they don’t figure it out right away. COWBOYS WIN
Commanders @ Broncos:
Feeling good after a divisional win to start the season, the Broncos take care of business against Sam Howell and the Commanders to win both games of their early homestand. BRONCOS WIN
Dolphins @ Patriots:
The Dolphins are better than the Patriots now, but this has never been an easy matchup to predict, even when New England was at its height. PATRIOTS WIN
Saints @ Panthers:
Derek Carr and the Saints offense will need to figure themselves out quickly if they want to beat the Panthers and their better-than-you-may-realize defense in front of a raucous Monday-night crowd in Charlotte. PANTHERS WIN
Browns @ Steelers:
So, can somebody explain to me why there are concurrent Monday Night Games in Week Two again? We decided this was a good idea for some reason? Whatever. STEELERS WIN
WEEK THREE
Giants @ 49ers:
Alright, I’m nipping this Giants win streak in the bud before things get out of hand. 49ERS WIN
Colts @ Ravens:
Maybe Anthony Richardson, inspired by the sight of Lamar Jackson, the quarterback so many have compared him to, pushes him to pull off an unlikely road upset. COLTS WIN
Titans @ Browns:
The Titans have a good enough run defense to slow down Nick Chubb, while the Browns have been victimized by great run games for years now. TITANS WIN
Falcons @ Lions:
Atlanta did not allow over 21 points in any of their last six games in 2022. They’ll get an early test against a high-flying Detroit team, and I think they’ll pass. FALCONS WIN
Saints @ Packers:
Derek Carr is winless against the Packers in his career. Sure, he’s only played them twice, but I’m looking for any reason I can to give my Packers their first win here. PACKERS WIN
Texans @ Jaguars:
Houston is, strangely enough, very good on the road in Jacksonville, having won there each of the last five seasons. TEXANS WIN
Broncos @ Dolphins:
Those early season games in the Miami heat are no joke, and the Dolphins are the better team anyways. DOLPHINS WIN
Chargers @ Vikings:
There’s such a thing as overthinking when trying to predict NFL outcomes, and so I’ll go with my gut feeling that this just feels like a game the Chargers will blow late. VIKINGS WIN
Patriots @ Jets:
Not only has this rivalry been notably Patriots-favored since Tom Brady was introduced, the Jets have never really given New England an old-fashioned drubbing, with their biggest win over them since 2001 being a 14 point win in 2010. This one will be cathartic. JETS WIN
Bills @ Commanders:
The Bills are under immense pressure to win the Super Bowl this year, but pressure makes people do dumb things, like lose football games to Washington. COMMANDERS WIN
Panthers @ Seahawks:
This feels to me like a game that’s going to be remembered as one that ultimately meant a lot once Wild Card seeding starts to get solidified. SEAHAWKS WIN
Cowboys @ Cardinals:
I would say that Cardinals fans will start raining the boo’s down heavily onto their hopeless team this game, but let’s be real, the stands are going to be mostly filled with Dallas fans, aren’t they? COWBOYS WIN
Bears @ Chiefs:
I have the Bears getting out to a nice little 2-0 start here, but this being an afternoon game seems like a sign that somebody on the scheduling team has a bone to pick with the Bears. CHIEFS WIN
Steelers @ Raiders:
Going from the franchise that’s had outstanding defenses for much of the past decade to the one that has allowed the most points of any team in the last 10 years might be a bit of a shock to Jimmy G. STEELERS WIN
Eagles @ Buccaneers:
Philly should have an easier time handling this version of the Bucs, as opposed to the Brady-led version they last played in the 2021 playoffs. EAGLES WIN
Rams @ Bengals:
It’s not much of a consolation prize, but maybe the Bengals can gain a little satisfaction in beating the team that slew them to win Super Bowl LVI. BENGALS WIN
WEEK FOUR
Lions @ Packers:
Winning games at Lambeau seemed impossible for Detroit only a few short seasons ago; winning here would put them at 4 wins in their last 7 trips to the Frozen Tundra. LIONS WIN
Falcons @ Jaguars:
Can this Atlanta secondary be trusted to keep receivers in front of them? The Falcons better hope so, or else Trevor Lawrence is going to hot-knife-through-butter this defense. JAGUARS WIN
Dolphins @ Bills:
Of the 7 ties in the NFL since overtime was shortened to 10 minutes in 2017, 4 were divisional games, and 4 were also on or before Week Four. I’m gonna call my shot here and really swing for the fences. TIE
Vikings @ Panthers:
I’ve been telling anybody that will listen that Carolina’s defense is a unit to keep an eye on this coming year, but the Vikings offense is way too good. VIKINGS WIN
Broncos @ Bears:
This game will be an early progress report for the Broncos under the Sean Payton regime: if the offense can’t control a game against the defense that gave up the 4th most yards per game last season, the issues might go deeper than we thought. BRONCOS WIN
Ravens @ Browns:
Not to sound like a broken record here, but the Ravens have one of the most prolific ground games in football (2nd in rushing yards in 2023 with only the 7th most attempts), while the Browns 135 rushing yards allowed per game last season had them in the bottom quartile of the league. RAVENS WIN
Steelers @ Texans:
CJ Stroud needs to bring some life to this offense quickly if Houston has any hope of winning this game. Houston was terrible on the ground last season, and Pittsburgh was one of the best run-stopping units in the league. STEELERS WIN
Rams @ Colts:
This is, shockingly, not a matchup between winless teams. The Colts corner group is pretty threadbare, and as bad as the Rams should be, Cooper Kupp is still one of the league’s most dangerous wideouts. RAMS WIN
Buccaneers @ Saints:
One of my favorite rivalries of the past few years is going to lose a little fire if the Bucs become as bad as I expect them to be. SAINTS WIN
Commanders @ Eagles:
I think Washington can surprise some people this season, but being “better than people might expect” is way short of being “beat the Eagles in Philly” good. EAGLES WIN
Bengals @ Titans:
Remember two seasons ago when the Titans got the #1 seed in the AFC, were favorites against the Bengals in the Divisional Round, sacked Joe Burrow 9 times, and lost anyways? That was pretty funny. BENGALS WIN
Raiders @ Chargers:
The Chargers are 5-4 in home divisional games since Justin Herbert became the starter, but 5-1 against the Raiders and Broncos. CHARGERS WIN
Patriots @ Cowboys:
Two of the premier brands in the NFL go head-to-head, but Dallas sends the Pats back home empty-handed. COWBOYS WIN
Cardinals @ 49ers:
The Cardinals should be thankful this game is on at the same time as Pats-Cowboys. 49ERS WIN
Chiefs @ Jets:
Aaron Rodgers and Patrick Mahomes have yet to face off against each other with Rodgers missing their 2021 matchup with COVID and Mahomes sitting out the 2019 matchup with a dislocated knee. They finally meet, and Rodgers secures a crucial win for Gang Green. JETS WIN
Seahawks @ Giants:
If there’s one team game all year where the Giants can expect Saquon Barkely to run roughshod over the opposing defense, it’s this one. GIANTS WIN
WEEK FIVE
Bears @ Commanders:
The Thursday Night lineup had been pretty good until this one. Until the Bears defense shows us it’s worth fearing, I’ll take most offenses that have any noteworthy weapons. COMMANDERS WIN
Jaguars @ Bills:
The Bills need only slip up once or twice, and they’ll quickly find themselves lagging behind in the AFC East race. JAGUARS WIN
Texans @ Falcons:
The last time these two played, Houston swamped Atlanta 53-32, went on to win the AFC South, beat Buffalo in the Wild Card round, and even led the Chiefs 21-0 in the Divisional round before choking it all away. Now, only a few short years later, and Houston will almost certainly be underdogs to this very mediocre Falcons team. How the mighty have fallen. FALCONS WIN
Panthers @ Lions:
So much rides on Jared Goff this year. Was last season’s resurgence a mirage, mercilessly tempting a Lions franchise hoping to find a multi-year solution at quarterback? They might find out this game. LIONS WIN
Titans @ Colts:
The Titans, for all their flaws, still have a strong defense, which should counter the Colts biggest strength, their ground game. TITANS WIN
Giants @ Dolphins:
The Miami secondary is too talented, even sans Jalen Ramsey, to be exploited by the pretty lacking Giants receiver group. DOLPHINS WIN
Saints @ Patriots:
Even with Jack Jones’ future availability up in the air, the Pats defense will be the backbone of the team, and should smother the Saints. PATRIOTS WIN
Ravens @ Steelers:
I seem to have more faith in Pittsburgh than most, which makes this one a challenge for me to pick, but a refurbished receiver group for Lamar to work with might be the difference here. RAVENS WIN
Bengals @ Cardinals:
I don’t intend on having Arizona losing every game this season, but if they keep playing games like this, I might not have much of a choice. BENGALS WIN
Eagles @ Rams:
Best case scenario for the Rams this season likely involves staying healthy, identifying young players to build around, and avoiding utterly embarrassing themselves. In no way does it involve beating an Eagles squad that may be the best team in football. EAGLES WIN
Jets @ Broncos:
The last (and only) time Aaron Rodgers played in Denver, he had perhaps the worst game of his career, completing 14 of 22 passes for a mere 77 yards and 0 touchdowns. Maybe another dangerous Denver defense has an encore performance in mind? BRONCOS WIN
Chiefs @ Vikings:
The Vikings of recent years seem to defy conventional logic, so I won’t try to tack logic onto them, where it’s clearly not meant to be. Minnesota wins this one. VIKINGS WIN
Cowboys @ 49ers:
The Cowboys have been one of the best regular season teams of the last few years, but have been totally average away from home, going 13-12 on the road since 2020. San Fran, on the other hand, has won 12 of their last 13 at home. 49ERS WIN
Packers @ Raiders:
What’s the current over/under on the number of remarks made regarding how Davante Adams was on the Packers this game? Whatever it is, I’ll take the over. PACKERS WIN
WEEK SIX
Broncos @ Chiefs:
Winning at Arrowhead in primetime in the Mahomes Era is one of the most impressive feats in football today. CHIEFS WIN
Ravens @ Titans:
Baltimore vs Tennessee is a rivalry I wish we got to see more often. Anyways, the Titans are just the type of team capable of slowing down the Ravens ground game. TITANS WIN
Commanders @ Falcons:
COMMANDERS WIN
Vikings @ Bears:
Having Minnesota losing to the Bears fresh off of beating the Chiefs might seem illogical, but ask your nearest Vikings fan, and they’ll tell you it makes perfect sense. BEARS WIN
Seahawks @ Bengals:
Both these teams should make the postseason, but “playoff team” is a more impressive moniker to earn in the AFC. BENGALS WIN
49ers @ Browns:
Football is a weird sport, and sometimes teams lose weird games they have no business losing. Cleveland feels the urgency coming out of their BYE and has a game to remember. BROWNS WIN
Saints @ Texans:
The more I look over their depth chart, the more I can buy into Houston’s defense being alright. The Saints are starting to slide. TEXANS WIN
Colts @ Jaguars:
In another round of “AFC South teams really struggle to break streaks,” the Colts haven’t beaten the Jags on the road since 2014. They won’t get that monkey off their back this season. JAGUARS WIN
Panthers @ Dolphins:
As excited as I am about Carolina’s defense, Miami has Jaylen Waddle and Tyreek Hill, while the Panthers have neither of these players, or anybody quite like them. Sometimes it’s that simple. DOLPHINS WIN
Lions @ Buccaneers:
The Detroit defense improved markedly over the course of last season, but this matchup against the Tampa offense could be a real “stoppable force meets movable object” scenario. LIONS WIN
Patriots @ Raiders:
While the question of “which of these franchises is more widely despised” may never be answered, I can say readily that New England should win the actual football game between these two. PATRIOTS WIN
Cardinals @ Rams:
Finally, the Cards meet a team that might be as bad as they are as they travel to SoFi. At this point I just feel bad picking on them every game after game, so I’ll toss ’em a bone. CARDINALS WIN
Eagles @ Jets:
Those who have espoused concerns about the Jets offensive line all offseason have a good chance at being proven very right in this one. The Eagles that had more sacks than any team since the 80’s should feast in this matchup. EAGLES WIN
Giants @ Bills:
The Daboll Bowl (the Da-Bowl, if you will) features a Giants team that were enormously overrated last season, who managed to escape much scrutiny because the Vikings were even bigger frauds, facing off against a Bills team that people are ready to give up on despite being one of the best teams in football. Buffalo sets the record straight here. BILLS WIN
Cowboys @ Chargers:
My deep fear is that Justin Herbert is going to become one of those “get him some help so we can really see what he can do” kinds of players. This Dallas defense is simply the much better group when compared to the LA offense. COWBOYS WIN
WEEK SEVEN
Jaguars @ Saints:
The Saints look to have a pretty cushy schedule this season, so them falling to 2-5 after losing at home to the Jaguars is a particularly bad look. JAGUARS WIN
Lions @ Ravens:
Though they did improve greatly, the Lions defense was still apt to be exposed on the ground late last season, including a 320-yard evisceration on the ground in Week Sixteen by a McCaffrey-less Panthers. RAVENS WIN
Raiders @ Bears:
Chicago hopes it’s done enough to retool its defensive line, but it may have its work cut out for it against a Raiders offensive line that was top 11 in both pass and run blocking win rate last season. RAIDERS WIN
Browns @ Colts:
You can probably tell by now I’m not exactly brimming with excitement about the Browns, but at least they have a few receivers worth mentioning that should outmatch a paper-thin Colts cornerback group without too much effort. BROWNS WIN
Bills @ Patriots:
Even when this rivalry was at its least “rival-y,” Buffalo often played the Patriots close in Foxborough, and now have won three straight there. BILLS WIN
Commanders @ Giants:
I’ve explained before why I think the Commanders are more likely to sneak out a Wild Card spot this season than the Giants are, and winning this contest would go a huge way towards making me not look like an idiot. COMMANDERS WIN
Falcons @ Buccaneers:
I don’t know how many more ways it can be said that it hasn’t already, but the Bucs offense very well may be one of the worst in football if one of Baker or Kyle Trask doesn’t take a huge leap. Ryan Jensen’s season being lost is just another straw on an already broken camel’s back. FALCONS WIN
Steelers @ Rams:
The Steelers are much better than the Rams, but the urge to have Los Angeles win this one is too strong for me to ignore. When you are predicting nearly 300 games, you just have to operate off instinct sometimes. RAMS WIN
Cardinals @ Seahawks:
Picking two upsets for bottom-of-the-barrel teams from the NFC West in back-to-back games might be a little too crazy. SEAHAWKS WIN
Packers @ Broncos:
The advantages stack up against Green Bay here. Denver was a good run-stopping unit (which could cut down on Green Bay’s ability to use what might be the best parts of their offense), and with the return of Javonte Williams, the Broncos ground game can be better suited to expose a Packers run defense that was among the worst in football last season. BRONCOS WIN
Chargers @ Chiefs:
Somebody seems to have forgotten to tell the Chargers that it’s supposed to be hard to win in Arrowhead since Patrick Mahomes came to town; they are 3-2 in Kansas City since 2018. CHARGERS WIN
Dolphins @ Eagles:
Two of the most talent-laden teams in the league clash on Sunday Night Football. It’s not easy to find much of an edge for either team here, but perhaps Jalen Ramsey’s (potential) absence will be too much for a secondary facing AJ Brown and Devonta Smith to handle. EAGLES WIN
49ers @ Vikings:
Why is the Monday Night lineup so much better than the Thursday Night lineup every year? Does that tick the people over at Amazon off? Anyways, Kirk Cousins has played in 12 Monday Night games, and has won 2 of them. 49ERS WIN
WEEK EIGHT
Buccaneers @ Bills:
In the world where Tom Brady magically un-retires to rejoin Tampa, this could be a fun one. In every other timeline, however, Buffalo should get back on track with the nation watching. BILLS WIN
Texans @ Panthers:
The easy headline here is “Bryce Young vs CJ Stroud,” but I want to see how Will Anderson does against a Panthers offensive line that, through this point in the preseason, hasn’t come close to impressing. TEXANS WIN
Rams @ Cowboys:
I think trying to predict player injuries is morbid and, quite plainly, very weird, but I can’t help but look at Matt Stafford’s recent injury history, then at this Dallas pass rush, and not get worried about him in this game. COWBOYS WIN
Vikings @ Packers:
I was in attendance when the Packers laid waste to the Vikings in Green Bay late last season, and it might be the most fun I’ve ever had at a game in Lambeau. However, since I don’t plan on being there when Minnesota comes to town again this season, I can’t promise the good Packers mojo I apparently exude will be of any help. VIKINGS WIN
Saints @ Colts:
A loss here would very nearly catapult the Saints into “the season is lost” territory, and sensing their backs so close to the wall, scrape out a key road win. SAINTS WIN
Patriots @ Dolphins:
The Dolphins are stacked on offense, but this game still has the feel of a “first to 20 wins” sort of contest to me. New England might just have a chance in just that sort of match. PATRIOTS WIN
Jets @ Giants:
What is it like in Metlife Stadium when the Jets and Giants play? Since the Giants are the home team, will their season ticket holders fill the place up, or is it a bit more “Red River Rivalry,” where half the stadium is blue and half is green? Either way, the ones in the green will be leaving happier. JETS WIN
Jaguars @ Steelers:
I’m (apparently, given how much I have them winning) all-in on Jacksonville this season, but that offensive line is a sore spot I’ve chosen to ignore as long as I could. Pittsburgh has a pash rush that’s simply too disruptive to let such a soft spot go unnoticed. STEELERS WIN
Falcons @ Titans:
This one could easily bounce either direction, but I find Atlanta much more interesting this season, so I’ll let ’em have a road win here. FALCONS WIN
Eagles @ Commanders:
I ought to have Philly lose a game at some point this season, and you can make a reasonable argument that Washington can maybe keep up for a game. The defensive line is the backbone of the team, and the Eagles have some turnover on the offensive line. It doesn’t take a genius to see where things can go wrong. COMMANDERS WIN
Browns @ Seahawks:
I don’t love what Seattle has on their defensive line, but once you get to the layers behind that, it’s a group you can be at least a little intrigued in. SEAHAWKS WIN
Ravens @ Cardinals:
Arizona wasn’t good at stuffing the run last year even before shaking up nearly their entire front seven. RAVENS WIN
Chiefs @ Broncos:
I’m going to use this space to shout-out L’Jarius Sneed, a starting corner for the Chiefs and unsung hero who has been crucial in helping turn the Chiefs defense from a liability the team wins in spite of into a respectable unit. CHIEFS WIN
Bengals @ 49ers:
If there’s a defense that might be able to counter the Niners zone-run style of offense, it’s probably one with a run stopping beast in the middle and talented middle linebackers, just like the Bengals! BENGALS WIN
Bears @ Chargers:
Quietly lost in the shuffle of last season was how awful the Chargers were at stopping the run, ending last season allowing 5.4 yards per rush, easily the most of any team in the league. CHICAGO WINS
Raiders @ Lions:
One factor that shouldn’t be overlooked when divinating (autocorrect insists that isn’t a word, but I know better) about the 2023 Lions is their paper-thin receiver room. If, regrettably, the Sun God goes down for any extended period of time, Josh Reynolds may become the Lions number 2 receiver. That shouldn’t matter when the Raiders come to town, however, as their corner corps is somehow in even more troubled waters in terms of depth. LIONS WIN
WEEK NINE
Titans @ Steelers:
TJ Watt is one of the few defensive players in the NFL whose mere presence on the field alters offensive gameplans. Alter as they may, the Titans won’t have an answer for Watt and the Steelers prolific pass rush. STEELERS WIN
Dolphins @ Chiefs:
The bad news for the Dolphins is that they have to fly to Germany to play this one. The good news, however, is that as a result they get to dodge having to play in Arrowhead. DOLPHINS WIN
Vikings @ Falcons:
A fun stable of offensive skill players could keep Atlanta in this one, but the Vikings offense is simply too talented to lose this one. VIKINGS WIN
Seahawks @ Ravens:
The Seattle receiver group against this Baltimore secondary just might be the matchup to watch this week. SEAHAWKS WIN
Cardinals @ Browns:
If DJ Humphries and Paris Johnson Jr can hold off Za’Darius Smith and Myles Garrett, the Cards might just have a shot here, but that’s too much to ask of most tackle duos, especially one that’s starting a rookie. BROWNS WIN
Rams @ Packers:
Do the Rams have both the speed to keep pace with Christian Watson as well as athletic enough linebackers to keep alongside the agile-as-he-is-large Luke Musgrave? A quick glance at their depth chart has me questioning. PACKERS WIN
Buccaneers @ Texans:
This one could surprise those who aren’t paying attention; a waning offense meeting a defense that plays with an energy only attainable by being as largely dismissed as Houston is could equal a blowout win. TEXANS WIN
Commanders @ Patriots:
Sam Howell taking command of the quarterback position could be a great boon for Washington, but being what is essentially a rookie on the road against a Bill Belichick defense isn’t a recipe for success. PATRIOTS WIN
Bears @ Saints:
The number one rushing offense by both total yards and yards per attempt last season vs the defense that was 25th in run-stop win rate? I’m feeling pretty good about Chicago in this one. BEARS WIN
Colts @ Panthers:
The poor quality of the offensive line has been the preeminent concern for Panthers fans this offseason, and it could especially be troublesome against the Colts, who despite blitzing the third-least of any team, had the third highest hurry percentage for opposing quarterbacks, and was in the top half for pressure percentage. COLTS WIN
Giants @ Raiders:
Last season, the Raiders and Giants tied for the fewest interceptions by any team in football, each picking off opposing passers only 6 times each. Since 2010, only 3 teams have managed to record less than 6 interceptions in a season. These two secondaries are turnover-averse, and I trust Davante Adams to take better advantage of that than anybody on the Giants roster. RAIDERS WIN
Cowboys @ Eagles:
You can’t go wrong with whoever you pick here, so in the interest of keeping the NFC East interesting in this series of events, I’ll take the Cowboys to pull off a monumental road win in Philly. COWBOYS WIN
Bills @ Bengals:
The only team that the Bills couldn’t beat from Week 10 onwards last season was the Bengals; once in their canceled regular season matchup, and again when the Bengals downed them in the Divisional Round. Cincy continues to make this budding AFC rivalry a one-sided affair. BENGALS WIN
Chargers @ Jets:
After a great start to the season against as difficult a schedule as one could hope for, the Jets have cooled off. What they need to get their season back on track is another prime-time win against one of the myriad of great teams in the AFC, and that’s what they get on Monday Night against the Chargers. JETS WIN
RESULTS
Where we stand half-way into the season:
| AFCN | NFCN | ||
| Cincinnati | 7-1 | Minnesota | 6-3 |
| Baltimore | 6-3 | Detroit | 5-3 |
| Pittsburgh | 5-3 | Chicago | 5-4 |
| Cleveland | 3-5 | Green Bay | 3-5 |
| AFCE | NFCE | ||
| Miami | 5-3-1 | Philadelphia | 7-2 |
| New York | 5-3 | Dallas | 6-2 |
| New England | 5-4 | Washington | 6-3 |
| Buffalo | 4-4-1 | New York | 3-6 |
| AFCS | NFCS | ||
| Jacksonville | 6-2 | Atlanta | 5-4 |
| Houston | 5-3 | New Orleans | 3-6 |
| Tennessee | 3-5 | Carolina | 2-6 |
| Indianapolis | 2-7 | Tampa Bay | 0-8 |
| AFCW | NFCW | ||
| Denver | 5-3 | San Francisco | 6-2 |
| Kansas City | 4-5 | Seattle | 5-3 |
| Los Angeles | 3-5 | Los Angeles | 2-7 |
| Las Vegas | 2-7 | Arizona | 1-8 |
What Surprised Me:
– Buffalo in the cellar of the AFC East at 4-4-1
– Houston keeping pace in the AFC South at 5-3
– Carolina, my self-proclaimed sleeper team of the year, is puttering along at 2-6
– Kansas City is below .500, while Denver leads the division
– Washington is 6-3 and on the heels of the Cowboys
– Chicago has more wins than losses
What Didn’t:
– San Francisco and Seattle are running away with the NFC West
– Philly and Dallas are 1 and 2 in the NFC East
– Cincinnati has the best record in football
– Arizona and Tampa Bay are awful
– The AFC East is practically a dead heat
– Minnesota and Detroit are pretty good
Adam's NFL Blog 